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As I see it, it all comes of a huge
diffidence and shyness when meeting with a stranger.
This is a typical complex. And itís met pretty often. Itís
not as difficult to fight down as it might seem. You just have to want to get
rid of it!
You know, some guys say that they canít
even come up to a girl.
Let me describe it.
- There I saw her. She was simply stunning! Her shapes were
breath-taking... Shall I come up to her or not? The desire is overwhelming.
What should I do??? What on earth am I supposed to say??? What if she turns me
down? (Your pressure goes high, your heart beats faster and you are sweating
like a dog). But finally you canít resist the temptation and your shaking legs
bring you up to her. The tension is so great. You are approaching her, you are
opening your mouth and you feel your tongue stuck to palate. A wild grimace
distort your face, you stammer something pathetically. The patientís condition
is grave. J Remember, the main thing here is your attitude!
It costs me nothing!
It does! And if it didnít you wouldnít have been so
scared!† Do you know the best way to come up to her? Pretend sheís just a telegraph-post.
Nothing more. You are just passing it by. You can stop and concentrate on it
but you always remember that there are thousands of them on your way.† And you
should always be ready to be turned down. You canít always avoid it. You just
need to understand that it happens and thereís nothing horrible about it.
But here you are, standing right beside
her and you get stuck. You canít think of a single thing to say to her!
This is fear. By your scale of values you are about to do a
frightful thing! At the moment of uttering your first phrase you reach the
peak. The adrenaline fills your blood, you are at the point of ecstasyÖ J Donít be
afraid of it, enjoy the first phase of your acquaintance! Take it as a small
battle of looks, words and gestures. You attack and she defends. In most cases itís
no more than a game. Her defense is superficial and her redoubts are paper-thin.
†She builds them only for the sake of testing you. And you are the one to break
What if Iím not alone? What if my friends
are watching me?
Remember once and for all: friends either help or go to
hell. I donít have anything against them. But if they begin boasting of their
own victories or laughing at you Ė send them to hell. If they can do better,
let them show it to you or teach you how to do it! Can they do that? If they
canít let them shut up! This should be your rule! Either you defend yourself,
or they will laugh at you for the rest of your life.