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Letter to the Girl from Dating Site 2
A Letter to the Girl from Dating Site 2
The same problem encouraged another group
of researchers to draw their own conclusions:
So one sunny afternoon at dating
site there appeared a profile of a 23 y.o. cute brunette from NY whose name was
Lora. Lora wanted to meet a nice guy. But nobody presumed that the real
saboteurs MegaCrot and Brigle stood behind Lora. And while the naïve
Internet users were dashing off their messages jovially cherishing a hope to
meet our beauty Lora, we have been studying scrupulously all their letters
trying to understand what in general men write to a virtual girl.
Here is the result. The profile had been hanging during 3
days. 219 letters were received within this period. Besides, we got the first
one in just a couple of minutes after the profile had been registered. Here’s
some stats on the letters:
1) Different (but not too different) variants of the
compliment “you are beautiful” – 13%
2) Letters containing nothing remarkable, which don’t catch
the eye, namely “just letters” – 49%
3) A standard phrase “why on earth such a beauty would
search for a boyfriend in the Internet?” – 5%
4) Variants on “I know you must have received hundreds of
letters, ehhh!” – 7%
5) The clowns who don’t believe that the profile is real
but still want to get acquainted – 8%
6) “The PHOTO is great!” seems that these people write a
letter to a photo and not to a living being – 15%
7) “want to marry you” or the consequences of sperm-toxicosis
8) Sheer apologizes – “I’m sorry to bother; sorry that I
decided to write you; sorry that you are so beautiful and other stuff” – 10%
9) Postcards from VirtualFlowers had been sent by – 3%
10) According to the style:
Romance – 20%;
Business like – 32%;
Those who don’t care (“I don’t really need
to get acquainted with you but what if it works...”) – 12%;
15%+15%=30% - hidden or evident showing off
their financial position;
11% -“intellectuals” (Sartre, Misima,
Miller, Prust, Akutagava, Schopenhauer and Platon in original).
12) The size of letters:
50% - a small letter (0-3 lines);
35% - middle-sized;
15% - a big letter (you spend about 3
minutes reading it).
13) Photos are attached to 65% of the letters despite
mentioning it in the profile that it’s HIGHLY desirable.
14) According to social status: 66% work; 13% are students;
10% are businessmen.
15) Of all 100% of addressers 14 % are non-self-confident
and 22% are macho men (“I really don’t have problems with chicks but…”)
16) Literacy level: 62% - mid level, 14% - high level; 24%
- low level.
17) Foreigners – 5%.
18) 2% of doubles and triples (“if the woodpecker doesn’t
peck, he is either asleep or dead”).
19) 5% - rhymesters. (“All I wanna do is see you, don’t you
know that it’s true!”).
Altogether general impression is as follows:
An intellectually mature person would have thrown 26% of
letters straight to dump and only 18% could have attracted him/her with the
beauty of style.
1. The height shorter than 180 sm is never mentioned as a rule. Numbers
183... 190 sm start dancing before your eyes at the 15th letter.
2. Bad photo quality (none studio photos; “Polaroid” or a cheap camera
accidental shots from night parties, streets and so on).
1. The guy hugging a dozen of girls (three letters of the kind).
2. The guy with his friends – choose anyone! (two letters).
3. The girl’s profile text was returned arranged as a web-page.
4. A limited number of people (three) announced at once their desire to
spend some money visiting a restaurant/club.
5. The guy inviting our Lora to shoot from all kinds of guns.
6. Another guy offering her a feet licking in the mornings (“I come to
your place, lick your feet all over, suck your toes and leave”).
7. The guy without a photo informing that he looks “like the guy from
General observations apropos of all read.
Starting with photos.
Despite the fact that there was a special notice in our
girl’s ad “photo desirable”, as is seen from stats data, not everyone deigned
to concede the request. What’s worth mentioning is that many guys sent links to
their URL’s. They obviously forgot that, firstly, a girl may not feel like
following a link (she receives heaps of letters beside yours), secondly,
letters without attached photos may simply be deleted without even opening
them. The next is photos’ quality. Luckily, there are many high quality photos
with a good composition, shot with a good camera, well-scanned and
optimum-sized. But still there were others which looked pathetic against the
good ones. Namely, they were photos shot by bad cameras; they were huge photos.
The funniest thing is when a photo is whopping and the man is ant size and
indistinct in it. The same is when the photo is so small that you have to use a
microscope to see something. Well... and when a guy sends a photo where he’s
standing beside a girl (or a dozen) this is somehow too much!
What do people generally write about? Well, we could dilate
on it forever. Plenty of short but quite plain letters containing but one word
“hi” or variants on the subject “Babe, call me!” It’s an absolutely dull
occupation to read them. Not too many but still there were the “questionnaire
type” letters (my name is John... 85/185/100 .. write me... I’m a cool guy...
blah-blah) which neither aroused enthusiasm. There was a surprising number of
“stamp” letters in all their variations; starting from vague letters (which
could be sent to anyone after changing the addressee’s name) ending up with
pure stamps – the text message obviously sent by a robot. A great deal of
“fingers” can be noted which in this context maybe explained either by the
peculiarities of male psychology, or something else, but they pay much
attention to their social status, financial prosperity by this or that way (from
direct statements about possessing cars, houses and so on to more or less vague
allusions, like, “I have a very good job”). A wish to stand out for their
unique interests is very obvious (I like to climb the mounts with my ass bare
and jump without a chute).
The exclamations like “You are the one I have been looking
for all my life” are somewhat funny (I wonder how he managed to define it only
with a photo and a generalized questionnaire). The silliest statement is “It’s
probably not your photo but if it is I’d like to meet you”. And it makes you
want to say “If you are so clever why don’t you go f## yourself?” By the way,
about the photo: there are lots and lots of phrases like “nice photo”, “you
look beautiful in the photo” and so on. It makes an impression that the guys
are talking to a picture and not to a real person. Though I often make mistakes
myself but if I see them in such letters it offends my eyes, especially, if the
candidate is praising himself to the skies. Then there’s self-conceit again “I
don’t have a photo but I’m SURE you won’t be disappointed!” – Wow, we are so
narcissistic! It’s real hard to read a big letter when it is twentieth in the
row. I don’t know about miDDTrich, but a real piss off for me were the letters
which intonation can be interpreted like “Yo, u bitch, you are Ok, I kinda like
you, I’d meet up with you, I’m not really like that but you are the
exception... I... ME... I... ME...” It makes an impression that if a girlplaced her ad and you deigned to reply she should run skipping along to meet
Our recommendations to those who had made up their minds to
write anyway (don’t worry, WE will read itJ!)
1. Don’t be illiterate.
2. Don’t apologize for anything.
3. You don’t care who else has sent letters to her.
4. Make a high quality photo. But see to it that it doesn’t
differ much from the original.
5. You may just mention between the lines “financially
secure”. It’ll be noticed if necessary.
6. Don’t boast, you haven’t been seen for real yet – you
may disappoint her.
7. If you are over 30, get ready to explain why you are
8. The letter should be not bigger than one page size
9. Not too much sniveling. If you think that your kneeling
before her photo is something outstanding you are mistaken.
That’s about all.